Anorexic to GBR triathlete

TAKING EACH DAY AS IT COMES

So, one thing I am learning this week, is that taking a day at a time, is so important as it allows you to live in the moment, not striving to rush ahead. My default is to rush through the day, missing the small things, the little wins that all add up to help me be a better me. My mind can sometimes become so wrapped up in the training I need to do, the calorie goals that I want to hit, that I forget to take a breath and live in the here and now.

I am not sure that unless you are self-employed, you can understand the constant pressure there is to keep on pushing on, to pick up new clients, to not stop and stand still as you feel like you are time wasting. For Sarah and I no one is responsible for the success or failure of our business, except us and that can make time for ourselves difficult as money is time. In the same breath though we both crave time out, to hang out not just when on holiday.

This week I am recognising my trigger points and choosing to adapt and overcome. I am so conscious that anything that changes my initial plans throws me into a spin and knocks me off kilter. At those moments I am having to take a step back, reassess and know that it’s okay to adapt my plans without there being a crisis.

For example, yesterday I had a client who had woken up and was unable to move as they had pulled their back. The only slot I had left was my training time and that’s precious to me physically and mentally, but at the same time I knew that he needed help. My initial reaction was to panic, but then I put my coach hat on and spoke to myself as if I was a client. The planned long run became a short and fast one instead, so it was a win win all around - his back was fixed and my training box was ticked off.

Coinciding with this I had an interesting discussion with a new client today, when we talked about the desire to be perfect, but how actually that can be dangerous. So many of us seek for perfection and I am beginning to realise that that’s impossible. We concluded between us that failure is inevitable, but we have to allow ourselves to fail forward.

What does that mean?

 It gives us freedom to know that its okay to not be 100% all the time, to get it wrong, to not hit goals that we set for ourselves, to change our plans. That in doing so we can learn from our mistakes, we can grow as a person, discover new things about ourselves and become stronger individuals and be able to handle problems that come our way more effectively.

For someone that pushes hard all the time, that constantly seeks to beat a previous PB, to always be the BEST I am learning it’s okay to just BE. I also know that when things don’t go to plan, when I am stressed, my default is not to eat and fuel properly as it’s learnt behaviour. So, I am choosing to unlearn previous behaviour, to recognise that my default isn’t healthy. It’s not always easy and I have to keep myself in check, but it is manageable as long as I stay honest to myself. 

This week has been a challenge, as it’s been a bank holiday and my parents and grand -parents are visiting. Time is so tight, trying to manage clients, downtime and training has not been easy. It’s been a case of juggling things around, getting up earlier, reducing training sessions to make them equally effective but condensed, all of which causes stress.

 I love downtime, but it knocks me off my normal schedule and that causes me a problem. Not that I don’t love time off, but I must plan for it. I must work out when I am training, what are we doing and with whom and factor in time to switch off and just be. Then I can relax and enjoy myself.

However, things don’t always go to plan and sadly my wife was unwell all over our time off, so that threw me. She knows me well though and insisted that I still did things, as she knows staying in would drive me crazy and wouldn’t be good for either of us. It was lovely to hang out with my friends, but I did miss my wife. She is my due north and without her I feel like my right arm is missing. I am so blessed by amazing friends that helped me have a blast though, but I did feel robbed of our time. 

So how do I still function, move forward and still achieve? This is how… 

1. Take a step back, recognise my anxiety and choose to move forward. 

2. Address how I feel, be honest with people I trust and move forward.

3. Choose to take it one step at a time.

4. Recognise when I need to adapt and overcome.

5. Most importantly, look at the positives, celebrate the small wins and stay focused.

We all have our own battles, but by taking each day as it comes and living in the moment, we can turn them into something positive. No one is perfect, so once we stop striving for perfection we give ourselves permission to be ourselves, warts and all.