Anorexic to Age Group Triathlete

CHOOSE JOY!

So I can honestly say that choosing JOY hasn’t been the easiest in the last few days, in fact I don’t think you could seriously write the sequence of events that have happened! When people say these things are here to test us or that they are character building I completely agree with them and my wife and I have had to remind each other to smile even when we have wanted to throw our toys out of the pram! To choose to have fun despite our circumstances and to park our frustrations to enjoy the moment.

Let me take you back to Thursday night when my wifey and I had a heart to heart about how we were both feeling with the business change. I have struggled as we have been so used to working alongside each other for just over 5 years that the studio without her is quiet and I really miss her. In turn she misses me and when we get home we are both so tired that it’s hard to have quality time. She is currently covering numerous Slimming World Groups, which is great as its extra income but are not used to leaving early in the morning and not seeing each other till late at night. To throw another spanner in the mix we also found out that we are facing a price increase in our rent at the studio.

To be clear other than the rent increase everything else is POSITIVE and finds us financially in a stronger position. It’s just that emotionally we are both struggling with the changes as neither of us do change well. Sarah did point out to me though that its currently harder on me as I am still doing the same job in the same place whereas she is doing something new.

My normal default in these circumstances is to shut down. I would like to say that I didn’t do that, but what I would say is I recognised myself doing that and so did she. Thursday night neither of us slept well as we were processing everything so on Friday we were both shattered after a long week and I was unsettled as I hadn’t put enough time in my diary to train! Then just to add a bit more stress into the situation our cleaner at the studio was unable to come at the last minute.

The prospect of cleaning when I finished at 5 having been on the go since 6:30am was not a happy one and I was trying to stay calm about it but failing miserably. This is when I can honestly say I am blessed by the BEST friends a girl can ask for. Despite an equally long week my bestie rocked up at 4:45pm and started to clean for me, my other friend who was my last client helped and we were out by 5:20pm.

By the time I got home I felt sick as I was so tired but I was just so happy to finally chill with my wifey. She had had a hard day due to a few family issues so was quite down. However we had a lovely evening and despite our kitten Benji bringing mud into the house and dirtying our white floors – he is an adorable little monkey! We had quality time! My normal behaviour when feeling like this is to not want to eat and just curl up, I fought against this and instead had a decent meal as I knew that next day was crazy training wise.

Roll on Saturday morning and more fun!! It started so well with banter between us both and a training session online with one of my favs. Then the fun started! First of all Sarah’s car broke down having just returned from the garage, we both nearly had car crashes and when I got into teach spin I didn’t have a working bike screen, the seat wouldn’t adjust and then the sound system broke! Cue the wifey stepping in as a knight in shining armour to save the day as she arrived to grab my car keys just at the right time. She also knows that I have had a few hard spin classes in the last few weeks and was anxious about teaching so had come to give me a hug – she is definitely a keeper.

It’s in moments like this that I have to steel myself and not let it define my day or send me down a spiral of self-destruct. I am learning just to BE in these situations, to go with the flow and try to see the positives. The above events could have derailed the whole day but together we chose to park it, solve the immediate problems and give ourselves head space and enjoy some quality time before tackling the bigger issue of how we were both going to get to work on Monday.

Church on Sunday was Epic as usual and I was reminded that we have a choice to accept where we are and stop moving forward, to accept that our current reality is final or to refuse that and keep moving forward. We can chose to believe that although we may not see it yet a breakthrough is coming.

Personally I am believing for breakthrough in our finances, to gain control of my eating and training once again and for us both to be the BEST that we can be. Life can throw us curveballs but it’s how we tackle them that is important. I am the first to admit that in the last few months I haven’t handled them that well, but it doesn’t mean I have failed it means that I am learning. Currently I am trying to choose JOY even when I don’t feel like it.

So my questions to you this week are -

What do you want but can’t see yet?

What areas of your life have you chosen to settle in and not move forward?

What can you do to achieve your dreams ?