Anorexic to GBR age group triathlete

Look after you and DON’T QUIT

There are moments when you realise that life moves so fast at times that its hard to take it all in and sometimes we just want that clock to stop. This week has been even more manic for us with Sarah heading up North for training days and returning home to assessments and feedback meetings in her role as a Slimming World Consultant. Alongside of this I have my first fundraising event to help me to be able to take part in the World Age Group triathlon championships in Australia in October.

One thing we are learning is that we need to carve out time just for us or weeks can go by and we have had no quality time which results in two tired and stressed wives. Together we can conquer the world but apart we can barely get through the week. We have been challenged by several of our friends recently to make us a priority instead of trying to be there for everyone else but not each other.

To be brutally honest I am still not in the best head space and physically still struggling. In fact, at times I just wish that someone would give me my body back though I keep being told to cut myself some slack to heal! Time isn’t exactly on my side as May is crazy with races.

Last Saturday was a classic indication of where I am not quite my normal self. I taught my spin class as normal (lets not mention that there was an issue with the music at the start which meant starting late and causing my stress levels to rise). Despite this, I had an epic class! It’s a place where I can just lose me in instructing others and ignore the fact that to function I was fuelled by codeine and anti – sick tablets.

Post spin is where the challenge began as there was an indoor triathlon that I was taking part in as one of the instructors. Normally I would be up for the challenge but all I wanted to do was hide in a corner with music on and forget the world; to be nothing to anbody but be left inside my own head. Instead I had to rally myself and not only get my race head on but also my social one; thankfully after taking half an hour just to BE I got myself together and actually enjoyed myself and came second; not bad for someone who was knackered.

This is when the real fun and games began. When I arrived home I was greeted by Sarah and a little wild rabbit that our kitten Benji had brought in as well as a dead mouse. As much as I love him, at times like this he is not in my good books! Instead of a nice chilled trip to our local lake to walk and talk it was off to an animal sanctuary for small anilmals so the bunny could be looked after. (We wont mention that we nearly had a trip to the city to clothes shop as well thanks to my wife’s last minute online shopping! Thank goodness for Royal Mail that is all I can say!)

We did finally get to the lake and had some time just to walk and talk. It wasn’t the easiest of conversations as we agreed to not go away in June as normal for several reasons; firstly,  cost, but the biggest reason being that we should be going to Australia for the World Triathlon Championships in October and if we are going to do that we need to do all we can to get there. We also agreed that we need to make that call at the end of May – which I have to be honest is hard as suddenly the pressure to qualify for next year instead suddenly becomes overwhelming as I don’t want to let people down who have already invested in me. I love racing but sometimes the pressure can get too much and that was one of those moments so we agreed to park the subject for now.

The rest of the day we had quality time just being together. Sarah is my favourite person to hang around with. I never get tired of things to say and actually just being with her is enough. It’s easy to get so caught up in the doing that we forget about the being. It always amazes me that whatever is going on in the world a hug from her can make everything okay even if it’s just for that moment.

Sunday followed and on the back of an awesome message we readdressed the World Championships discussion with fresh eyes. We agreed that we were going to change our expectation and start to declare that ‘we are going’, and that we are going to do all we can to get there by saving every penny we can, putting our all into fundraising events and contacting as many businesses as possible for support. As Christians, we know that as we move God moves and we are trusting Him to open and close the doors. In the meantime, I am going to keep on training, keep on racing and smash it up!

Sunday was hard as Sarah was going away for training and we hate not being together - in fact I cant rememeber the last time we were apart. Until she left it was hard as we were both not looking forward to it and we were trying to hold onto every second that we had together. My bestie and friend came over which was fab but I still missed her like crazy. It’s also another sign that things are changing work wise and for two people that have worked side by side for 5 years that isn’t easy!

Monday came around quickly and I was entering taper week as racing on Sunday - more about how that went next week, but in the meantime I am going to leave you with this thought;

‘When things feel too overwhelming remember; One day at a time, One thought at a time, One moment at a time and one task at a time’

In all things and at all times remember that you can do it; you just need to back yourself and trust the process.