Anorexic to GBR Triathlete

This girl smashed it!

So, it been quiet on the blog front as since being off for my birthday life has been crazy busy with so many changes and challenges but let me catch you up on what has been going on.

The week I was off work celebrating my birthday I was also taking part in two competitions alongside some of my besties including my wife, who is my number 1 person to hang out with. I t was fab to see her competing in a relay team alongside two of our other friends at London Triathlon, an event that we do every year as my grandparents can come and watch, that makes it special.

I can honestly say I laughed till I cried with my besties and had two of my best races of the season. In London I finished first in my age group in the sprint distance and was 7^th female out of 317 competitors and got to stand on a podium to receive my Gold medal in front of my family, friends and other competitors – it was amazing!  In Blithfield World Aquabike I qualified for the Worlds Championships next year and came 2^nd in my age group – that was a huge relief!

I felt enough and I began to believe in me as a GBR athlete again as well as being overwhelmed by the gifts I had from my friends, many of which reminded me to BELIEVE IN MYSELF. This is something I really struggle with as I never feel quite like I deserve to be where I am as an athlete, wife and business woman.

On the flip side I have realised that I am my own biggest enemy and sometimes all I see is someone struggling with food, a need to hit the exercise rings and an insecurity about how I look. When all is stripped away and the pressures of daily life were lifted I loved being free to hang out with my friends but the constant angst when it came to what I could eat in balance to how much I trained or didn’t remained constant. This was highlighted more by their ability to just enjoy food and drink for what it was without feeling anxious. I was also overwhelmed by my successes and whilst racing I felt free, enough and focused – I could BREATHE!

Mentally I am in two places –

So grateful, happy and blessed by fab friends, awesome results, a wife who is my safe place and a family that love me to bits.

On the other hand, I am sad that sometimes the anorexic brain rears its ugly head and still tries to rob me of my peace, happiness and celebrations.

Deep down though I am a fighter and I am certainly not down, quite to the contrary I am moving forward and facing head on my weaknesses as these I know will ultimately become my strengths. As a Christian I know that I am a Child of God and that means that I am BLESSED, SPECIAL and UNIQUE, I just must keep tapping into that.

Since being back at work and heading into the last two races of the season it hasn’t been easy to juggle everything, work, eating and training has on occasions become overwhelming and I have had to learn to step back and breathe and get things in perspective.

Racing wise I have had an awesome season, full of podium spots, wins and confirmation of my pace in the Sprint Triathlon and Standard Aquabike in the Worlds next year. The last BIG race of the season is next weekend in Bournemouth at the European Sprint Triathlon Qualifier. Mentally I know I AM STRONG ENOUGH, physically I am struggling with the run, but whatever the result I am constantly reminding myself that it doesn’t define WHO I am or take away from my achievements already this year.

Work wise its difficult at the moment as the pressure on Sarah had ramped up and I have several clients who are struggling. Together we are stronger but with both work schedules being as they are we are struggling to get time together. We have recognised this though and where we can we are carving out time and making sure we take time to listen to each other and help each to fight the battles we FACE.

Food and training wise I know I need to make changes to ensure that when the season ends I don’t fall back into old habits of under eating and overtraining. Trust me writing this is far easier than putting it into practice. One thing I am not doing is burying my head in the sand and ignoring the problem, instead I am facing it head on!

This morning in one of my daily readings I was challenged by this –

But if you change the way you think, you can change your life! It’s hard to exaggerate the value of changing your thinking. Good thinking can do several things for you, including generating opportunities, resolving problems, and producing revenue. It can lead you to an entirely new level, both professionally and personally.

For me that is a word in season and pushes me to keep on changing my mindset to be a better ME! As I enter this next week I KNOW there are hurdles to overcome but I am working on changing my thinking about myself and my thought patterns around food and training.

We all have a choice to stay where we are or move forward to a better us!

My question to you is – ‘Are you going to do the same?’