Anorexic to GBR Triathlete

CHRISTMAS IN COMING

One thing I have realised over the last few years is that although I love Christmas, it brings with it several challenges for me and the lead up to it can be quite overwhelming. It’s about juggling days where there is no structure around food and exercise meaning that my normal routine has no place, instead a new one needs to be put in place that will work for me mentally and physically. Exercise rings may not be hit and Charlie’s safety net, around what I eat and when, shifts – which is a bit of a nightmare!

This year my anxiety levels around this season have kicked in early due to a few personal issues which meant that until yesterday we had no solid plan for Christmas Day itself. There has also been a lot of upset and heartache in the last few weeks that have rocked Sarah and I to the core. At moments both of us have wanted to run away and hide, shut the world away and just hold each other and breath. Today has been one of those days but we have rallied around and together got through it!

One of my friends today amid this turmoil reminded me of the things I can be grateful for – an awesome bunch of friends, a wife that loves me unconditionally, a thriving business, lovely home, parents that love me and two amazing little cats who I adore. She encouraged me to focus on them and lift my head, to choose these as my focus rather than the hurt and upset we are currently feeling. 

As I came back to the office following catching up with her, I looked at our notice board and my eyes were drawn to a quote by Vex King which a friend sent us a few weeks ago –

‘Look at you – staying afloat while pursuing more, holding it down while healing your wounds, and figuring out your next move while managing an overactive mind. It’s not easy, and you might not see the results yet, but you are still making moves. Keep going. Change is on the way.’

It reminded me that even in the storm I am still moving forward but it’s also okay to take time to rest during life’s storms as, on the other side of them I will soar again. Taking a step back is hard, but sometimes for our own mental health we need to do that, so as not to burn out and fall short, to enable ourselves to regroup and come back stronger. 

I am beginning to realise that when I am stressed my appetite disappears and I struggle to eat and that’s okay, as knowing it means I can deal with it head on. The same way that for many of my friends and clients their default button is to comfort eat. If we could all meet in the middle it would be a perfect combination! On the flip side the more I stress about it the worse it gets, sometimes we must give ourselves permission just to ‘BE’ and in doing that things will settle down and come back into order. 

As Christmas approaches way more quickly than I would like, I find myself in an interesting place. On one hand I am desperate for the downtime with family and friends whilst on the flip side I am panicking about training and allowing my body time to rest without self-combusting! For me as a Christian I love that this is the time of the year that I get to celebrate hope, grace, peace and joy! It saddens me that sometimes due to the mental struggle in my brain I don’t get to enjoy it as much as I should.

On reflection though I am proud at how far I have come this year in being open and honest about my own struggles and that I have put friendships in place and built in safety nets to help me overcome some of these. 2024 hasn’t been the best year in many ways but at the end of it I am looking forward to leaving baggage from it where it is and moving into 2025 with a clear vision and purpose. Next year I want to be more secure in me, I want our business to grow, I want to aim bigger and higher when it comes to triathlon and most importantly, I want to invest more time in positive friendships where iron sharpens iron and we help each other grow and develop.

As I sign off until next year, I want to remind you of a few things that I have learnt this year!

1. YOU ARE ENOUGH!

2. YOU ARE UNSTOPPABLE!

3. FAILURE ISNT FAILURE IT’S A SPRING BOARD TO A NEW ADVENTURE!

4. FRIENDSHIPS THAT BUILD YOU UP AND WHERE IRON SHARPENS IRON ARE THE KEYS TO BEING THE BEST YOU!

5. YOUR DREAMS MATTER!

6. YOU HAVE GOT THIS!

For me as I take time off to regroup I am going to come back stronger and I am going to focus on those things that I have done well and stop criticising and beating myself up in the areas I struggle with. Ultimately I am looking forward to investing in quality time with my wifey as together we are STRONGER! Let’s do this!