Anorexic to GBR triathlete

Our bodies are amazing – so listen to them!

So a slightly different blog from me this week as I wanted to just take some time out and share with you something that I am learning and walking through now in the hope that it will help you.

Before that a little update on race season so far …. 3 races and three podium places one third and two seconds. I am so relieved that my hard work is paying off but I will never take for granted where I am at and will never assume that this will always be the case. For me mentally it’s not easy to stay calm and I am still overwhelmed to find myself in this position as I honestly thought podium places would never be something I would experience. I am also learning that for me racing is one place that I feel enough, proud of myself and a space where I can be fully me once the race begins.

This observation leads nicely into the essence of this week’s blog. In the past few months I have become aware of how much my body reacts to how I feel emotionally and recent events have triggered a trauma response that has been quite hard to deal with. It amazes me how what we think we have boxed up can rear its ugly head and catch us off guard. As someone that spent several years in an abusive marriage I have tried to run from the emotional side of that and until now I have managed well. Don’t get me wrong there have been moments but I am so blessed by an amazing wife who helps me know that I am loved, secure and most importantly safe!

In the past few months I have felt like my body has belonged to someone else and emotionally I have at times been overwhelmed which is very out of character for me, I like to hide myself firmly behind a mask and to be honest even in this time I have only let a few people I trust see the vulnerable me. I am also very blessed by a friend who is a life coach and has taken time out of her diary to help me navigate and understand why I have been struggling.

One thing she made me realise was that it isn’t my fault that my body has reacted by making me feel unwell and I haven’t done anything wrong. Our bodies are amazing things and when we choose to bottle our emotions up our body reacts to try and protect us. I see this in clients all the time when in times of stress they become unwell, injured, experience migraines, feel sick and a multitude of other physical symptoms. Personally I can gauge where I am at by my appetite or if I start to feel physically sick for no reason. The ultimate sign that Charlie is stressed is the joy of tonsilitis which I have now had twice in less than two months!

The question is –

 ‘What do we do when we recognise our bodies are not right and realise it maybe linked to our current circumstances? ‘ 

We have a few options available to us; to plough on regardless and ignore the warning signs, to put our heads in the sand and continue to do the same thing or take a moment to stop and look at what we need to do to help us get physically and mentally better! We can either stay where we are or chose to move forward one step at a time and look at the things we need to change and address to move positively forward.

In conjunction with this we sometimes need to allow our bodies to do their thing and not get frustrated but do all we can to help it heal. I have spent a few weeks angry at how my body has been responding but the moment I took a breath and realised that it is not my fault and recognised that it is trying to heal itself I started to feel better. What I have had to do is keep looking after me, eating regularly, keeping hydrated and getting sleep. MOST importantly I have learnt to train according to how my body has felt rather than getting annoyed that I haven’t been able to push it as much as normal.

To be honest in the last few weeks the only time it has felt right is when competing; the gun goes off and suddenly the body kicks in and does its job. In that moment it cannot be consumed by the other stresses in my world but has one thing to focus on to swim, bike and run as quickly as possible and put into action what I have been training for.

Sarah and I have had several discussions recently about how life’s stresses affect us physically as well as mentally, for both of us it affects our throats first and then we both crash in different ways. Currently we have lots of changes on the horizon and between us we are juggling many balls but one thing we have learnt is that quality time to be together to just to talk, chill and BE us with no pressure to be anything other than wife and wife is IMPERATIVE! We are each other’s due north and safe space and even in the tough conversations our hearts are to make us a stronger couple and recognise what we both need to do to support the other one.

So, why is it so important to listen to our bodies? The bottom line is that if we don’t we become poorly, more stressed and unable to function properly. I have just started to read the book, ‘Our Body Keeps the Score’ and it is fascinating how it responds to different stresses that we face as well as those moments of celebrations. I think if we could all learn to listen to our bodies more we would find ourselves mentally and physically fitter. Talking to my friend recently was eye opening for us both as she noted that her back pain was directly linked to worry over her family members and once she chose to let that go it disappeared – powerful stuff!

I would encourage you this week to do a body check and look at what you are currently carrying. It’s amazing how in the highs and lows we all have our own coping mechanisms for me I don’t eat, Sarah does the opposite. We all have our own coping strategies and these are the things that help us survive the storm but there is no harm in changing these if we recognise that they are not healthy. Just because it has worked for years it doesn’t make it right.

What do you need to change to be the BEST YOU in all circumstances?