Anorexic to GBR triathlete

Race season is coming!

Welcome to the craziness that is my week! Saturday was mental! Before 12pm I trained a PT client, taught two classes - a HITT session and the Spin - then completed my normal Saturday swim training session! It is mornings like this that remind me how my brain doesn’t naturally think about food. My first client asked when I was planning on having anything to eat as she didn’t think a cup of tea was quite going to cut it that morning. My response? – ‘Erm… I don’t know, I haven’t really thought about it!’ Thankfully I have a bestie that when I messaged her came to meet me to swim after teaching with snacks and made sure I had half an Eat Natural bar before I swam. I don’t think she wanted to risk me passing out on her! In this moment it was a bit of a wakeup call that with my first race approaching on Sunday I really need to look after me a little bit more.

The rest of the day was equally as mental; coffee with friends followed by quickly packing and heading off to Essex to my Mum and Dads for Mothers Day via popping in on Sarah’s parents. I think if I could sum up my food on that day I would have to say ‘There is room for improvement’.

It was lovely just to be at my parents over the weekend and chill - I even took our washing as an added gift for my mum! It’s a good job she loves us. I am learning that unless I am out of my own environment, I find it hard to not ‘DO’ and just ‘BE’. I always find something that needs something sorting. One of my friends said to me recently that I have an energy about me which is great but I think Sarah would like that energy to be tamed on occasions.

This weekend I was proud of myself as I managed to accept a change in my training schedule without self-combusting. On Sunday morning, Sarah and I were shattered and she suggested that instead of the gym we did something else. In that moment I had a decision to make to freak out about calories and rings or allow my body the recovery time it needed and to hang out with the wifey. I for once chose the latter and together we walked for a coffee and chat then walked home before cooking brunch for my family and prepping chicken gyros for later that evening.

If I am honest Sunday was great but it was also a mental battle for me when it came to allowing myself to eat and enjoy my food. It has become apparent that I feel the need to earn my food daily - a mindset that I am slowly confronting and trying to change. This is uncomfortable, and at times overwhelming, but I am determined that I am going to be a strong athlete, healthy wife and epic business woman not held back by old mindsets. I am realising that we can only box things for so long before they rear their head and we have a choice to bolt or face them head on - I am choosing to tackle them and move forward.

So enough about the day to day stuff - let’s give you a little insight into the mind of Charlie leading up to Race 1 of 14 of the triathlon season. Last year this race was the first time I hit the podium finishing 3^rd and to be honest I would love to do that again but a part of me is too scared to push for that in case I miss the mark. The other side of me knows that I am much faster and leaner than this time last year as well as injury free so it should be my aim.

The question is -

‘What have I decided to do ahead of Sunday and what is my plan?’

The plan is to go for it and give my best. I want to beat last year’s swim and run times as in training I am ahead of the game from last year. I am going to aim for top 3 but knowing I can’t control the other people that are competing or how they perform only how I do. In my gut I know I AM RACE READY! So, I am trying to conserve that energy ready to explode on the start line.

To do this I NEED to do a little thing called ‘ taper’; this means reducing my training in the three or four days up to the race so my body is ready to give its best. This doesn’t mean I can’t fuel properly though, so I am having to psych myself up to do this by focusing on the end goal not the fear that I will put on weight and lose my fitness!

On reflection I am proud of myself as I managed to focus on ‘WHAT’ I wanted out of the race rather than the fact that I was reducing my training. I took time out to breathe and look at myself as a client which helped in terms of the lead up to the race and visualised how I would feel crossing the line knowing I had done all I needed to be at my best. I would like to say the spin classes I took the two days before the race were easy on my clients but that would be lying! They were the only training I did those days which was huge for me.

So, let’s fast forward to race day itself …

My bestie and training partner was also competing and we had a crew of people coming to watch us as it was a local race and my bestie has had a tough time so they came to support her. I was nervous as normal but I was focused and in my gut I knew I wanted a top 3 finish and I was going to go all out for that! When the whistle went I felt the adrenalin kick in and from that point on race head Charlie was in the building. I was aware of my fellow competitors and the girls screaming at me; it was surreal as I came in on the bike leg first and crossed the finish line as the first athlete home; I knew I hadn’t won on count back but I had secured 3^rdand a 4 min PB; my bestie secured an 8 min PB!

I was proud of myself and for once I felt ENOUGH! It also showed that my training has been spot on and despite struggling to fuel I am in good form and set up for the season of my life! Sometimes the journey is tough but what is important is that we keep on moving forward, pushing towards the future and not looking back at the past.

I am going to leave you with this quote –

‘WHO you are becoming is more important than who you were.’