Broken to Triathlete

Yesterday my bestie sent me this quote -

“An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means it’s going to launch you into something great. So just focus, and keep aiming.’

The last few weeks have been turbulent to say the least and I have cried more in the last two weeks than I have in the last decade. My dad hasn’t been well since having a knee replacement on the 26th November. He has had sepsis, ecoli, the flu and a DVT but the worst thing is that the meds he has been on have caused him to become anxious, aggressive and agitated. This is completely opposite to the man that he actually is and difficult to watch. Seeing the affect on my mum in many ways is even harder and triggering as its brings back memories of my ex husband and reminds of the abuse I lived through for years. It also makes me realise how much Sarah has me and that in her arms I will always be SAFE!

In all this, we know that my dad is unwell and currently he can’t help his behaviour and in his lucid moments it breaks him when he realises how he has behaved. Thank fully the doctors are doing all they can to get to the bottom of the problem and bit by bit he is becoming more like himself - I can’t tell you how much mum wants her husband back and I want my dad back, even the dad jokes!

One thing I do know that even in the storm God is holding us all and there are positives in the midst of the pain. My mum and I are closer than we have ever been and are walking the journey together even though we are 2 hours away from each other. Friends and family have stood in the gap so mum is never on her own and our own friends have been amazing with hugs, doing our washing and making time just to chat.

Its has been amazing for our prayer life and I do know that God IS always our REFUGE and STRENGTH, even when we are overwhelmed. It’s in the little things that HE says , ‘ I have this’, such as Sarahs car wheel being fixed for £20 instead of £156 and a brand new soup maker we were given ages ago that when ours broke this week we could replace it with.

So today whatever you are facing, remember that YOU HAVE GOT THIS and that there is ALWAYS A RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN! It’s also okay to not be okay, just keep taking small steps forward and eventually it WILL become easier.

As I was typing this I was listening to music and the words from one song jumped out at me -

“ Joy still comes in the morning, hope still walks with the hurting, there is still good news worth repeating!”

REMEMBER THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS!