YOU ARE ENOUGH!

RACE WEEK PART ONE  - YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Off the back of a tough week the weekend couldn’t come quickly enough! We had a busy one ahead of us, but one that was filled with all my favourite things, time with friends, church, spin, a mini triathlon and time with my wifey. A complete contrast to the week that had gone before! Time to draw a line in the sand and focus forward!

Saturday was EPIC! I was in my happy place teaching spin to my crew and afterwards took part in the mini triathlon alongside my wifey, bestie and some of our other friends. I was in my happy place and for once, when a guy I had never met before told me I was clearly a very good triathlete, I didn’t let my wife step in and tell him that I compete for my country in my age group, I told him myself. I am starting to speak it out loud and own it, in the hope that I will eventually believe it and step out of the imposter syndrome that I find myself stuck in most of the time!

The rest of the day was a whirlwind of coffee with my bestie and wife, followed by starting to pack – something that I find quite stressful, when it involves making sure I have all of my racing kit! My wife wisely stayed out of the way and one of our friends helped avoid a complete melt down, when I discovered my racing bra was ripped, by saying they could fix it!

Three hours later, washing had been sorted, kit was out and clothes for the rest of the holiday were in situ! I am not going to lie, it may have involved a couple of glasses of vino to help the process  but I was proud of myself, as I did it! I also had a proper brekkie and lunch, which is a big thing when anxiety steps in.

The evening was lovely and chilled, as we hung out with two of our close friends, one of whom cooked for us and took over our kitchen. It was such a blessing and just what we both needed, time to breathe and be looked after. God’s timing is perfect, and we both felt better and ready for Sunday Funday!

Sunday is one of my favourite days of the week! Church, time with friends and downtime with wifey! This Sunday, Jon, our pastor was so on point and preached about, ‘GRACE, GRACE – THE UNDESERVED AND UNMERITED FAVOUR OF GOD OVER OUR LIVES!’. I was definitely going to start saying ‘GRACE, GRACE’ , over the upcoming race and days leading up to it!

He also said that – ‘FAITH IS FEAR CANCELLATION’. I so needed to hear that, as the fear of the ‘what if’s’, that I am not good enough, that I would stumble at the last hurdle, that our business would go under whilst we were away, that my eating would go to pot, that I would get injured at the last minute, that my bike wouldn’t get there - you name it and I was fearful of it! But in that moment I decided to let FAITH not fear win!

So packing finally complete – my wifey left it to the last minute, she loves to stress me out! - It was off to the pub for pre race drinks with some of our closest friends. I had a moment when I was surrounded by them all, that I will never forget. They were all there because they believed in me and had my back, they made me feel ENOUGH and a little overwhelmed by their support.

One of my friends bought me an awesome gift, a box entitled, ‘ YOU GOT THIS’, inside it were 100 inspiring quotes and one of my mates sifted through them to pick out the ones they thought I needed to read in the coming week. Here are just a few of them –

Don’t let the fear of losing outweigh the excitement of winning!

The fears we don’t face become our limits!

Believe you can and you are halfway there!

Believe in yourself and you will be unstoppable!

You are capable of anything!

Impossible is just one person’s opinion!

Your potential is endless!

Actually I can!

Enjoy it happening!

Everything I need is within me!

As I read those quotes and started to let them filter through in my mind, for the first time in the last couple of weeks, I felt myself settle and something rise up within me, that knew I was good enough, that I deserved my place, that it wasn’t a mistake, I WAS ENOUGH!

Entering into Monday morning and my last full day of work before flying out to the race, it was all starting to become real. I have to be honest, I loved my day and it was full of awesome clients but I couldn’t wait for the end of the day, when I could stop and fully focus on the week and race ahead of me. I was also going through the normal psychological battle of reducing my training to get ready for the race, whilst trying to eat normally. A battle that has got easier, but it’s still a mind over matter process!

Monday night, it was an unsettled sleep, as pre-race nerves were kicking in, as well as anxiety that my bike was going to arrive on time after the stress of dropping it off. I was quite highly strung when I met my bestie, Kerry, to go swimming on Tuesday morning – she is a legend, not only arranging the day to work from home so she could meet me, she also had a little gift and card for me. (A fab necklace with swim, bike and run on it and a little silver pebble that said – ‘GOOD LUCK AND SMASH IT )‘ She was also taking the washing I had left at home to sort for me, as she knows it stresses me out.

Post swim, I received a whats app to say that my bike was already in Torremolinos and ready for me to pick up! I cannot express the relief that one message brought. Such an answer to prayer, now I was ready to go! Finally it was time to head to the airport via my mum and dads, as they were coming too and get this show on the road. My bike was there, I was fit and now it was GAME ON!